As we entered the weekend, the original plan was 3 birthdays, we made it to one. I found it difficult telling the story over and over, being surrounded by the notion of life goes on around you. That Saturday we went out as a family, to O’s where I felt I was being starred at my everyone, Jeremy assured me I wasn’t. By the weekend the kids had a full wardrobe and girls were excited to wear their friend’s clothes. We went shopping for a few essentials… which was emotionally devastating.
We went into Victoria Secret, Jeremy had just bought me new bras and underwear for Christmas less than a month before… now normally this would be a fun shopping trip but I found myself breaking down in tears and walking out of the store with the kids. Jeremy took care of the rest…
Shopping was downright horrible, a trip to Meijer to buy one bag of toiletries totally over $100… thankfully we had been given a number of gift cards but it didn’t help the emotional pain. Normally you don’t think about how much razors or toothbrushes cost… now I was aware of every item. I found myself in the toy aisle, tears filling my eyes as I looked at the shelves. My girls had almost every Barbie, that was there current “thing”… they loved playing in their room which is now currently non-existent.
Replacing material possessions brings up the emotional pain over and over, and likely will never stop… I pray time heals this pain.